My autistic child makes me miserable reddit. My whole being is occupied in taking care of my child.

My autistic child makes me miserable reddit Speech wise it took a while but when he was 3 they couldn’t rule out the disorder that’s similar to aphasia. she’s had several students in the past few years who just stop showing up to school because it’s all they want to do, and it’s basically impossible to make them do anything else, even YES. My partner is autistic with BPD and he's very similar. My mom says it's because he doesn As a monoparental father of 3 kids ( my youngest is autistic) I'm so proud of how my daughter and son take such good care of their little brother. People wanted me in group projects to do the harder parts of the work, and draw and make posters. It really cuts down on their (and your) anxiety and increases their independence. Like catotonic doesn't move or say anything. I've been married for 3 years now and my wife's depression makes me absolutely miserable. My second child is too brilliant for their own good. There were hundreds of people waiting to check in and a lady from the airline approached offered assistance. his communication skills are shocking as well so his meltdown raging rarely made any sense, especially to my child self. I'm miserable the whole time It also gave me pointers about how to treat my minimally speaking son with more respect, thank you. So, your title you states "my autistic partner constantly starts arguments". Think about what your goals are for your child, and how that might differ from a neurotypical child. Working makes me unable ti do much of anything else in my life. i pick new skills up quickly and when i'm not burnt out i will spend 90% of my time just making things. And Brother is not my child. It has warped my perception of others and now I’m afraid to be friends with people. Now it’s just me, my kids and my husband. My older son is 19. I hate my own children. i only into adulthood found out i have autism. The good thing is my son LOVES numbers. Yeah, this reminds me of Claire from Modern Family, "honey a trip with my kids isn't a vacation, its a work trip. It's made a profound impact on my sense of self since I started lurking here a few years back. i think it’s because as autistic people, we are prone to make mistakes in interpersonal relations that someone who is neurotypical would not, and then for those of us with comorbid depression, OCD, or anxiety, we blame ourselves for it, feel as if everyone is constantly judging us and obsess over it for long periods of time. Or even IF I should do anything. He was never diagnosed from a young age even though looking back at it now all the signs My current fiance, the one that's been here, is starting to scream at me and take his anger out on me because he can't handle the stress. Unfortunately Reddit seems to have a reply limit of 10,000 Or inversely that he was pushed towards something that makes him miserable. It turned into an all day fight which i eventually laughed at because i only wanted to go out for an hour while our son napped. Some people are content with it. Hitting and crying. You sound like a wonderful parent. It breaks my heart everytime and I feel so helpless to help him. She spends a lot of time tensing her muscles over and over and yanking on her hair, so she gets a It can be sometimes "useful" but it can also be obstructing. I know you think it’s what’s best for Brother but it’s not what’s best for me. Being autistic myself, her logic makes perfect sense to me, which is why I always try to honor her requests, within reason. She would just scream/cry any time someone would approach us. He and his wife have two severely autistic kids. Welcome to the wonderful world of ableism. I haven't had a friend or dated anyone in my 19 years of life (I'm actually good looking, people are just turned off after talking to me for a while), I had some "friends" in hs but they were just taking advantage of my kindness and my drivers license sincw they weren't old enough to drive. Anecdotally my child had next to no functional language at 3. He makes my life absolutely miserable and then tries to turn it around on me when I get upset. Update - My mother abused me my whole life, and is now suing me to see my children - I'm fed up! Autism is genetic and for you yo have both Bipolar and BPD while having an autistic child is a bit suspicious to me. We are on a waitlist for that because he’d have to do play therapy since he’s still nonverbal and the places near us don’t really take on Adding specific procedures to challenging areas of a child's day can make such a huge difference. I say phase because I’m hopeful of his behavior calming down. sorry if this is a long post. My husband and I struggled to conceive for two years before we had our son. as an autistic myself i was an extremely well behaved child to the point of being downright afraid to act up bc my family is absolutely bonkers on rules In my mind, "Sometimes, the context of a conversation is too complex and children struggle to make the inferences they need," it's not that I 'struggle to make the inferences,' it's that I see a thousand inferences that could be made and don't know which is the 'right' one to choose, which I also think is an utterly absurd way to communicate. i come home from working a 10 hour day and 90% of the time Since there’s a lot of hiring going on in my city, my son was able to get a full time job before he graduated. Just keep going, and don’t give up. My actual father is a shit head scumbag who left me and my mom when I was 2. My mind wanders too, I can barely focus and I dont really get alot done most of the time. A distant second it makes me sad sometimes that his early childhood is such a tricky time with frequent meltdowns and sensory overwhelm. i'm into making music, art, crafting, clothes design, web development, game design, learning languages and more. We've made friends with many families who have Autistic children. Would come home from school crying because I didn’t understand why the other kids didn’t like me. But I’ll tell you, a diagnosis actually helps to reset your expectations, and I could not be more proud when he hits milestones that should have been out of reach. When I wrote “My Autistic Child Makes Me Miserable” – The Google Search Results Series – Part 1, I thought I was helping bridge the gap between neurotypical parents and their autistic children, but for some, my explanations weren’t enough. My granddad was PROBABLY autistic - my grandma and mum think so, and so is my auntie. My Girlfriend [24/F] is making me miserable because she's unhappy and unwilling to help herself and I [25/M] feel like an asshole for resenting her for it. 23 votes, 28 comments. It sounds to me like you love your son soo much that him having autism is causing you to be extremely unhappy. Others never will be. Anyone familiar with the terms masking and mental overload might understand If I'm having a bad day my mom will suggest something that won't work ("try do your assignment for 15 minutes!") and when I say that won't work (because I know my brain and I know it won't) she gets frustrated and says she can't help me. I've tried time and time again to gently explain that we can't always have what we want, but I've yet to successfully do so in a way that she seems to accept or understand. If a drug had a side effect, it was removed. At 3 years old, my son started pre-K for children with special needs. So, my little guy has ASD. Could be an autistic child, a disabled child, a severely delayed child, a child with life-threatening allergies, a child with a debilitating chronic condition. My son is 6 and non verbal autistic. At 2 and at half years old, my son regained eyed contact, but was still not speaking. After a gap of saying he was "ok I had one friend that dug her claws in and stayed my friend since we were kids. Because of my experience, I've been honest with my son about his autism since the beginning. I drink I hate Christmas! The societal expectations are absolutely draining. If she had been my first I would have been scared to ever have another, autistic children can be really hard work. things to my family is money, status, success and how people see you. My brother has an autistic son. He's the sweetest child ever but it's hard for him and he's going through a lot and his sister and brother are amazing with him. On Labor Day i wanted to go the store located . And many parents who have autistic children are often also in some way neurodivergent so they can It's awesome that you notice and know so much about your son. As I stand here now I really feel like I could not be more angry at him or anything in this world. My husband and I went to a party and she would just cling to ME the entire time, I never get to enjoy myself let alone be at a party and enjoy myself. ever regretted my son. I got bullied. i love learning and creating. Not autism, but my 3 yo son has a brain malformation. Think of your sister as someone who has the emotional maturity of a 5-year-old child. My son has been hit and called pretty nasty names and done the same in return, but as they both mature they seem to get better. I’m so miserable. Essentially if you have an autistic parent, it’s likely they’ll have autistic kids too because it’s hereditary. Going in unemployment while i try and figure out Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 3 votes and 3 comments If I put my potential into something that makes ME happy, then I'm wasting my potential because it's not what my family wants me to be doing. ) The skills that made me a successful child do not make me a successful adult. i cant help it. My dad won't do shit to help with the situation. Because everything I do is not enough to make the autism go away. I agree NTA, autistic people can be spoiled too but that is not the direct result of autism; its because of shit parents. Please don’t give up: It’s easy to feel like you’re failing when your child is acting out, but it’s important to remember that you’re doing your best. it's called Othering and it's something that happens with pretty much every visible marginalisation, but has different effects in how you're being My mom didn't believe me at first, but my dad told her later on that he apparently took me to a clinic back in the 2000s to check my behavior (I don't recall being difficult, just occasionally grumpy, overly imaginative, and had a speech problem that in-school therapy worked me out of) and the doctor suggested I was autistic. For my son the gains in abilities have been amazing. The kid is built like a purebred racehorse: low bodyfat, lean muscles. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. i make everyone around me miserable by being autistic. Struggling both mentally and financially to buy gifts for every single extended family member, plus trying to keep the "magic" alive for my little kids, plus decorating and cleaning the house for visitors, plus having to prepare at least one holiday meal complete with dessert, possibly more than once if I'm splitting time Without sounding like a massive twat, as part of my ASD/ADHD assessments they tested my IQ, which was 136, average is 85-114 (not that those tests are an accurate assessment of intelligence anyway), but I’ve been told I have a very high level of intellect and I genuinely think that contributes to my high levels of depression. It can depend on the individual. Last year I got in a car accident and it was my only car accident and only driving mistake. school was easy but I just refused to do most homework, unless it was fun for me. Please feel free to message me for support any time. Anything slightly out of the plan causes a complete and utter meltdown. Autism destroyed my whole happiness I have just come to conclusion that my life is now having to be forfeited because my son needs my care constantly. I don't feel like have an identity anymore. OP needs a couple nights at a local hotel. But if you My wife's coworkers son is on the spectrum and she always says he's hopeless and isn't going to admit to anything in his life because of "how he can't do anything" he's only 4 years old btw ( me and my son are lower on the spectrum but it makes me and my wife so fucking mad on how her coworker treats her son) So I’m autistic. I received several comments from frazzled parents saying, “That’s nice, but what about my non-verbal child who screams, hits, That makes me really doubt the presentation of the statistics. I am consumed with loathing for my own life and endless, all encompassing jealous about how all I want to do is to switch my life for my sisters life. It just feels so terrible. My autistic child makes me miserable !!! First I'm going to say yes I love him. “Mum, Dad you know how much I love Brother and always will, however what you are asking of me is not reasonable or feasible. But For the past year, she makes me and my husband repeat the word “ok” back to her. We meticulously track his meds, his symptoms, and how he feels. Having a child on the Autism spectrum is a blessing. Yeeaahh, as someone else that grew up Mormon, contacting your bishop does nothing. I (f) 30. If someone gets in an accident and have these problems they would act the same. Its not uncommon for Autism in adulthood to be misdiagnosed and a combination of other disorders and i suggest looking at the possibility you might be autistic. Archived post. You can’t parent an Autistic child like you do a typical child. My autistic son has been driving me up a wall and is currently locked in the car in his seat belt while he is screaming at the top of his lungs. i dont care how high on the spectrum the person is, it literally just makes autism more taboo and stigmatized. You can’t possibly have any understanding of what it’s truly like unless you are a parent of an autistic child. some days are definitely harder than others, but thats just who i am. Hi, my 6 year old son was diagnosed with ASD 2 years ago - he is mostly impacted in his social communication/anxiety and how he gets fixated on certain topics. Your childhood sounds like my kids . My twin brother and I are diagnosed autistic. My life only makes sense through the lens of autism. sometimes it's best to just express you are feeling upset, use "I feel" statements about your emotional experience, try not to blame or get defensive, and approach from a place of curiosity. I'm still trying to find a way to deal with his inability to be there emotionally for me while still wanting to Omg I have this exact problem with my recently diagnosed 4 year old! She’s a level 2 but very verbal. My whole being is occupied in taking care of my child. I feel the same way though. I'm am burdened in distress and depression. Reply reply more replies More replies. He was very willing to work with my son and explain things to me like a 5 year old. We can't do anything. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. They both have occasional shutdowns but at least with my son aside from normal toddler stuff when he was young he was never a kid who melted down. He’s much happier, more relaxed and our relationship has completely improved. I don't know if it's an "Aspie" thing, but they were both almost eerily alert as newborns. i’m only 18 so i have a long way to go in terms of healing and i know it gets better but it hurts being reminded everyday that i was an accident and was never supposed to be here. My sister has a low functioning autism child. I’m about 7 years out from where you are now; son was diagnosed with asd at 2. Example: She makes me wake up in the morning when I don’t want to (she literally lifts my eyelids open). One of the tests was pointing in a random direction and supposedly autistic kids are more likely to look at the pointing finger rather than the direction being pointed to. Meanwhile their disabled kid is also miserable Just googled "my parent has autism" at the suggestion of my therapist and found this post. He’s not doing everything within normal timelines, but when he gets there it’s the However, now me and my brother are adults it’s pretty good, mum can relate to a lot of our issues as autistic adults. ANY HELP WOULD MAKE ME FOREVER Oh, I'm having those thoughts a lot, even as an adult. I love my family, and enjoy doing things with them, but I also love my girlfriend. Edit2: I want to thank everyone that gave me feedback and advice. My son also struggles to acquire new motor skills. I’ve never been caught doing anything bad. Or when it's time to go, excuse yourself to the loo and pay your share at the till. My entire patrilineal line and both of my children are autistic, thankfully my children are doing better than I have at their age. When he was 4 he started to pick up some more words. I've known/suspected my dad was autistic for about 10 years now (I'm currently 35). My mom suffered ptsd and loss of her parents and close ones, and she has a bit of problem to speak, not completely , even tho i care about her, and i believe she cares about me, i told her how she makes me depressed sometimes, sometimes i feel bad that i told her but again , i am a person too, who struggles with dark thoughts since i was 15 I would not have had kids if I knew I had autism before hand. I feel you! I could say the same about my career so far. He knew that, & that's why he picked me. So yes, legally it's fine, but maturity levels, being around the block, I was nowhere near this guy's match. I am awaiting a referral to the mental health team though as there is MH issues on my husbands side of the family (FIL and paternal grandfather) so it's always at the back of my mind that my Son seems very Yes, many many days are tough and many days I cry in the shower (when I get a chance to shower!), but seeing the joy on their faces when they hit a milestone or start to master a skill, or win a random award, is the best kind of joy. Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit r/AutismInWomen • by angelchild212. This is especially hard because he is also mildly autistic. I’m not saying you do not have it more severe. I’m a mom 40f whose 5 year old son was diagnosed and then I started thinking, Hey this actually sounds like me too some days it’s really depressing. I need to become independent or else I'm screwed when my parents pass. If you have a look at this article that has a look at the statistics. I'm struggling with something social, I miss cues, I act funny and he yells at me and smacks me and asks how I'm this stupid. My son has had a lot of ear infections and will be seeing a specialist next month . My kid is doing AMAZING on his combo. I could understand his frustration but when we have a meltdown or we don't act normally it's not malicious(I cannot speak for all autistic people here due to the spectrum but yk), it's not to make your life hell and to hate your son wishing he was dead or never born because of something he can't control that's simply a part of him is so lacking in basic human Toddler makes me miserable . exactly. Sometimes I just don't know how I could manage everything without them. I still have the same skills, but it's a different game now. This man makes me feel loved, cherished, respected, and valued but all in the same breathe makes me feel like a nuisance, undesirable, and neglected. My only concern for him is future loneliness due to a lack of social awareness, but we are working on his social skills to try and address that. my wife has become an alcoholic because she cant deal with the stress, and now, on top of being the only one working, im the only one dealing with him. The problem in this case it's not the child per se, it's the overwhelmed parents not being helped and the unprocessed traumas of the parents that emerge in a very stressful situation, aggravating and depressing the sibling. When my son was 4, he was diagnosed with ASD. In fact, I have exactly 3 pictures of my youngest smiling, because those were the only three times he ever smiled during that time. 264 votes, 79 comments. It could be a totally typical and healthy child who later suffers a serious physical or mental illness, a tragic accident or another twist of fate. as subhuman, to be frank. I was isolated. she is a 4 year old german shepherd, my brother and i went halvsies on her when she was 12 weeks old. Recognizing my autism made me lose my lifelong self-loathing. i think i mask very well as, when i tell people, they even question the validity of my statement since i don’t “act autistic. so i have plenty of marketable skills, but the thought of doing any of those things consistently after he made the comment about wanting me to mask around him, i asked him why he would ask that of me and why he was even in a relationship with me if my autism irritated him that much. i My autistic son imho has a confluence of a lot of interoception issues, personality traits, and autistic traits that combine to make it hard for him to know where his limits are or should be. Showing up for my kids when they need me makes my life worth living. direct, clear communication is key and it is a *practice*. I share that joy and it makes the hard days, the days when my son elopes or the school calls me, worth it. But as I said above, sometimes I have to say no. But it also makes me sad to think of his early years as such a difficult time developmentally. I'm not a genius and I don't want to screw up something if there's only a small window to really help him. Meltdowns during the 1st year as expected but Year 2 and 3 respectively have seen significant improvements from both. The risk of parenthood turning into such a situation is my greatest fear. Honestly, I have some guilt over not doing the typical turkey day get up. It basically will teach you how to parent a differently abled child. It makes me so irrationally miserable and idk what to do. Autistic person here. He just turned 6 he doesn't potty whatsoever ! He does it everywhere Helping support an autistic child and his parents, I have decided against having kids. . 5. My son has daily meltdowns that are ear piercing screams and out of control behavior running around throwing himself of the ground shrieking its a nightmare. 1. My kids are all autistic (husband too). It took so many years for even my son to be happy about life & it took the meds & major amounts of therapy. nothing ever gets better. They are young, and at my kids age it hard to differentiate what is his autism(he can self-harm when he throws a tantrum) or is he just being a little shit head. i fucking hate my autistic son. I do home-based play therapy (similar to ABA with more flexibility) with families who have children with autism and let me tell you something - you have not failed!I work with so many families who are in denial, who don’t believe in early intervention (and in turn, my job and what I do), and who just want me to look after their child while they take a breather One of my homeschooled children is autistic, so here's my two cents. I just want my child to be happy. Sensory meltdowns are presently a non-issue but social adjustment is pending. His specialists remind me often that a preference for being alone does not equal lonely. I don't live there, but watching my mom and step-dad suffer is killing me. Mom of 2 w/ hubby. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now I'm looking for an answer that is constructive, on how to not become miserable and resentful in my work environment. I wasnt comfortable with that too. Relationships Hey reddit. This helps me a lot and I hope it can help you too. I coped by completely devoting myself to finishing my Master's degree that is directly related to my career. ive literally had ppl deny my autism because i dont protray the asshole behavior that media likes to show. But having a child with autism makes me worry so much more for him. It was an astoundingly helpful revelation to give these behaviors a rhyme and reason, helping me better myself to this day (I'm 33 now). My wife and I were devastated at first. Or check it out in the app stores School makes me miserable . I hate it, and I'm not able to explain it to my husband and I find it upsetting because when I think about that, I Alot of the time you hear about autistic people with Servant syndrome in their autism who make incredible things- And it honestly makes one feel kinda bad. My ASD son was also difficult to manage as a teen. other people will 3 is still very young. It says that 51% are underemployed. He knew I was autistic since I was 5 and he just. As a parent it’s a fine line to walk between nurturing and discipline, that line is even tighter when ur kid is autistic. My profession is full of people who hate me for my education but there are a handful of people who cheered me on too. This is a throwaway account so that nobody I know finds out about this. hes almost 8 and all he does us drive me and my wife insane. " My husband and I have plenty of issues but I'm always thankful he gets my burnout. I chose to not do it because my kids won't eat the typical Thanksgiving meal (one is nonspeaking autistic and a super sensitive eater, the other is picky but gaining stride) and the amount of effort doesn't equal the satisfaction for just my husband and I, let alone the ridiculous amount of I'm a little similar. We went through this with my Autistic son (he’s now 19) and it was the best thing we did. I was like wtf no. He also has ADD. My son is level 1 ASD. I started to put the pieces together for myself when I was 22 when I realized my son was on the spectrum. Do you know that that is his actual intention? Which is shocking to me, and then makes me feel stupid, and embarrassed that I didn't know before that they weren't enjoying themselves like I was. Support A lot if this sounds like my son when he was that age, he ended being diagnosed with sensory integration disorder, and he got some occupational therapy which helped, he was on the under stimulated side, so they would have him do a course with a weighed vest and such. On our way home it was 3:30 am the airport was packed and my asd 5 year old began to cry and scream. My When they hate their autistic relative what they hate is tantrums, or being responsible for adults who are on children's cognitive levels. its neither good nor bad, it just is. Before I start, I adore and love my son with everything in me. I'm 61, In my experience as an autistic person and in previously dating an autistic person, autism may make it more difficult for a person to intuitively know how and when to pitch in to help or demonstrate affection, because of executive dysfunction, but it sounds to me like he’s not putting in any effort, and I don’t think autism is to blame. His dad had autistic traits. I read often on here that age 3-5 is the hardest and that gives me hope. You deserve a normal child but life had other plans. The only way you will ever be happy is if you accept the things that come with autism, accept that the behaviour that comes with it makes you flawed in many ways, and understand that you can work to deter those behaviours, if only slightly. It depends on what other things My mom has such awful anxiety because of all of this, and she truly lives a miserable life. She also says she’s in the best shape she’s ever been in, and she’s in her 50’s! Unfortunately exercise just makes me miserable and I have a hard time sticking with it for more than a She told me last year she was autistic so I knew she was lying and I kept quiet about it. I am autistic and throughout my all time in school I havent had any friend because my whole class knew Im autistic and they didnt really want to make any conversation with me. Their ASD, and my son's, show up in many different ways - they all have different strengths and challenges. What is beyond frustrating is his anxiety and having to be constantly reassured of things. He's non verbal and honestly has the mental capacity of a 5 year old with the attitude of one as well. upvotes I love my kids and wouldn’t change a thing . I know my brother has autism, but I truly believe he is a selfish person who is too lazy to manage his problems. I have read that at 5 (and at times later) there can be a language boom for autistic kids. I now have my own child on the way (number 1) and my mind is always going what it they have an ASD like me. Even my kids have asked why Aunty J and I are twins but I look 'way way older' than Aunty J. She just turned 5 and this week she has been responding to questions and (at times) producing independent sentences in As a child, my autistic “part” took the driver seat. Like it sucks to know children are still going through this, but also it makes me feel more like a statistic and less intentionally targeted, to know the "rule following quiet girl with low support needs, thrown into special ed she doesn't really need so that violent and sexually abusive boys can be directed to her as opposed to targets likely It's a risk that you have to consider, you have to love whatever it comes out, it's not like you can pick the charateristics you want. He does things at his own pace. I have 2 nonverbal autistic children and one whose not. She makes me brush my teeth when I hardly want to even get out of bed (because she won’t brush hers unless I also brush mine). That was 51% out of I need to get out of the house more even though it makes me miserable. He’s a changed person now that he’s earning his own income. She told me she scratched her car while driving against the fence and told me to pull up near it. 7 miles away from our house and he wouldn’t let me. ” but my boyfriend knows and i know it My partner last year discovered he had autism and since we have been overjoyed to finally understand and learn about the things that make him, him. (It is mild autism, I’m not sure of the correct term) but my son and my nephew are very close because any time my nephew got out of line my brother handled it appropriately. I attempted phone calls in my 25 years of existence and he always can't connect with me or begged for money at points. It's not life-ruining, and you can absolutely live a rich life with it. My kids were still not sleeping through the night, and teething made my already difficult children 100x more difficult. They If you make a fuss, me and my partner will just leave. Like my parents had asked professionals when I was younger if I had adhd and it was inconclusive (I think I might but I wasn’t diagnosed with my autism dx) and then my old therapist was asked by my parents later if I was (and she said no and compared me to her autistic son). There will be good days and bad days. Diagnosed asd this year, have always struggled. I don't know the situation there- just that they're non-verbal and prone to very loud outbursts. 5 brought small sentences. I feel like a shell walking around. I’m so upset I didn’t make the better choices she did. My main struggles are: explaining things to colleagues because of how nobody ever seems to understand me; feeling like a kid all the time because I'm terrified of my coworkers and feel like a guest in their house all the time; stopping me putting too much into my work, to the point where I think about work at home, forget to take my lunch break 6 months later, the specialist tells my wife and I that my son had autism. If something helps, do more of it; if it doesn't help, do less. being autistic makes me who i am. Her mum had autistic traits. She makes me cook dinner when I’m feeling too sad to do anything (because otherwise she would starve). I love them for their unique personalities and I'd do anything to keep them safe and happy. all i know is that when i have children they will be the loves of my life because i refuse to have them ever feel for even a split second how i felt as a child, and that’s how everyone should feel. We are very lucky to have found my son’s psychiatrist. My sister is 5'3", and her kid is already taller than her at 10yo. I can tell you, every single one of those kids is different. Unfortunately my Son got the 'angry' type of autism, but my friends autistic child is the opposite (probably like your Son) and very giggly. My oldest brother has autistic traits (never diagnosed) and his son is autistic. Hearing my 8 year old say his life is hard, and wishing his brain worked like normal kids makes me cry. My autistic son was bloody hard at those ages, add my separation from their father (sad but extraordinarily necessary), and I spent nights alone handling everything. I adore staycations like that. 3 years ago we had a falling out after her wedding when she turned into this weird, bossy, uncaring person. I would like to travel, have relationships, a We went this route with my two asd boys. It’s healing the parts of myself who were neglected and abused. My son is not autistic but he never slept when he was a baby, I read yours slept 6hrs at night and I thought "lucky!", I think my son Look into Parent Child Interactive Therapy or PCIT. AITA (f/32) for replying "don't threaten me with a good time" when my cousin (f/36) who is going through IVF told me to stop taking Zoloft because "it makes you infertile" knowing that I am childfree and get debilitating anxiety attacks. For example when he was in school last year he insisted on hugging, licking, and kissing students, even when they said no. “It literally feels like my head is imploding. so I want to pursue this more for sure. TLDR: My 8 year old autistic son may be hyper intelligent and I don't know what I should do. (I’m in the process of an official diagnosis) and even CPTSD (cPTSD is most likely from abuse from various people throughout my childhood) all this, including the ADHD and ASD makes living in house shares extremely difficult because I cannot tolerate people. His first year of school was tough for all of us. If we don’t, she has an explosive meltdown. That makes their statistic of just unemployed a lot more reasonable. And my some of my friends said nothing. Two things that you should consider, more and more studies show that autism is in way or another genetic, and chances are that you might have autism but be undiagnosed or misdiagnosed (it happens so often to women since the disorder presents differently in us)second if you are spending day in and out with your kid without a break to the point where you are My 3 year old only wants me, she is not autistic but will cry and only want things her way because she’s 3. She’s done this since she was about 1 1/2. The absolute best thing you can do for your child is what you're already doing: give them personalized attention. We just want to give them what they need to thrive . Many severly autistic children We asked autistic individuals in our community to describe what it feels like to have a meltdown. He has trouble taking accountability and takes everything as an attack. You need to make the best out of your life. My daughter is 3 and autistic. My family wants me to be miserable. My anxiety has drastically reduced as well. It makes me very anxious to just be so small in the universe and it makes me kind of unsteady in the space. reddit does this to every disability, im tired of seeing people say theyd abort their disabled kids. I've seen stories here and yeah I agree my SO should take priority, even if it means losing family for whatever reason and while I do agree with the sentiment, I do feel that Just do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't affect your health in a negative day. A lot of kids get diagnosed with ADHD and get medicated just for being normal, active kids. true. making her guess how you feel isn't fair, nor is it healthy. her existence has made me despise all dogs. Honestly she sounds like she has BPD. He's a leader in an organization that helped to create this problem (the church creates a safe space for narcissists and sexual predators) and they're also the ones that taught you it's your responsibility to cover up and control his actions, rather than teaching him to respect others, or that your My dad has autistic traits (never diagnosed but I'm certain he is). That's how I feel about my father, who is autistic. But he’s gradually learning to live on his own, pay his own bills, etc. He HATES me!!! He hates me for being autistic!!! I just don't know what to do!!! I'm stimming and he starts yelling at me. autists tend to miss like social cues or hints. Right now he's gone to cubs and the house is so calmyet whenever he's here, he's shouting and it just My son was diagnosed with autism about 18 mths ago, since then he's been aggressive abusive isolating himself from his entire family he says he hates us all, he sleeps Can anyone relate and give me some advice on handling this behaviour? I miss having a loving relationship with my child because she shows me nothing but disrespect and So basically my brother, 21, has high-functioning autism, OCD, and just general social problems. I’ve had to take multiple leaves for burnout and always used all my sick time. It means that weed calms down my autism but makes my adhd worse, and stimulants chill out my adhd but enhance the disabling parts of my autism and me still being in school makes everything even more miserable because I feel like I’m just on He got away with so much, & later I found out he had a child he never bothered to mention to me. I'd rather be dead than be miserable any longer. he just meant that if he himself is already tired and overstimulated, having to deal with me having a meltdown my mom works with special needs children and she’s noticed that almost all autistic kids who get access to ipads or computers even will refuse to to anything but game/watch youtube literally all day. . Hearing him say he wishes he could make friends breaks my heart. My girlfriend (female, 24) and I (male, 25) have been together for about a year, and known each other for the majority of our young lives and always been Living at home has it upsides and it's downsides, for me a major downside is sharing space with my autistic twin brother. Edit: The worst part about this whole thing is my child is caught in it and already has insecurities related to her relationship with her mom. I’m certain now that I’m autistic too - looking back, the signs are unmistakable. Reddit is being weird not letting my other comment go through. Eyes wide open from the first day, and seemed to be tracking things visually. I traveled with 6 kids and 2 adults and we skipped right through the lines. My son is 5 years old, has ASD and global delay. i am at my wits end, i will try to make this to the point i hate my dog. I can’t afford an official autism diagnosis (I’d be paying at least $1500 for the assessment alone where I live) but was diagnosed with ADHD last year and went on a journey of self discovery. pure bred, we got her to be a guard dog as we moved up into the sticks of northern wisconsin. So we are all different from your son but what the three of us have in common are that it took us a little longer to grow up. I knew my daughter was different from her siblings very early on, wouldn’t breast feed, wouldn’t settle, hated being dressed. For as long as I can remember the relationship between my mom and I (and our family as a whole) has been so distant? loveless? My autistic son is making me depressed. Sending you cookies and hugs and a cheery "hey!" across the Reddit lawn! Also best wishes for smooth days. My home is my safe space that I can control and organize the way I need to and I can’t handle having that taken away after finally having it for a year Any advice, anecdotes, or Also I was bullied by my entire grade all my young school life (k-8th grade) all 74 other kids in my grade bullied me and I didn’t have any friends. Hopefully their insight will help spread some understanding and empathy. When my girlfriend makes no effort to integrate, I lose my connections with my family. But if you’re unable to cope, it’s essential to seek professional help. Since I looked in the right I love my son and like you said I also feel inadequate. I'm on my There is a noticable difference when he is present and when he isn't. No matter the outcome they both will have the best life I can give . Now I'm 51 and I seem to no longer qualify as clinically depressed. Our Some children on the autistic spectrum do have behaviours that are just not compatible with home life but I'm sure you are doing a great job. My son is one who actually needs the medicine. As an adult, I do my assignments, and often make them work Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now cousins) now want all of the wedding gifts back because my family decided to bully an autistic child who was allowed to throw a fit in the middle of the dance floor for an hour. And nobody likes to admit that someone they love makes them miserable on a daily basis. (And of course, there's no ABA or weird baby speak around him--I have repeatedly made clear to relatives and my spouse that they will be inflicting compliance and masking on my child only over my dead, cold body. hi, autistic person here. that’s how it’s been for me, anyways. Because I feel it happening worse each day, and I'm only 25 and have a lot of working left ahead of me. My mum has autistic traits (never diagnosed, fairly confident she is, too). Re: changing your environment to make it autism friendly. however, i wouldnt change the fact im autistic. Or check it out in the app stores My mom makes me miserable. I read every response and really appreciate the care that was shown to me. My son's cousin was diagnosed with Level 1 autism and ADHD and I think my son is probably on the same path. At the time he was extremely aggressive, loud, messy and refused to make connections with other children. I’m just saying I have 3 and sometimes I think of how easy life is without kids. As she got older her “tells” became more pronounced. We all have our own specific challenges but at the end of the day, helping them feel validated and in control of their preferences and lives in general has been most On the other hand, my ASD son truly doesn’t have meltdowns nor does my ASD spouse. My hobbies and interests are lost to me. Something falls out the cupboard, she can't find something, we are missing an ingredient. Thinking about working 40 hours a week for the rest of Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Thank you for your kind words and the k you for your time . He’s just had his thirteenth birthday. Life is a Treated me like a golden child and took my achievements as his own but if I was less than perfect/disagreed with his ideas for my life then I was immediately horrible stupid ungrateful etc etc. Inested of seeing it as targetting autism see it as targetting their struggles. My partner lashes out, has explosive anger - but at the same time wants me to comfort him - but at the same time he lashes out more and basically pushes me away. Absolutely hate my life and live off benefits due to diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and suspected ADHD. My mom started figuring out how to use exercise for self regulation in the same way. Both of my kids are ASD and it is definitely challenging at times. these Parents of Reddit with autistic child/children, what are some great toys or gifts for christmas to get my 6 year old nephew who is nonverbal and autistic? My son is autistic and currently struggling to learn to talk but we think verbal too so obviously not the same but there's certain things he cannot enjoy. Many therapists and specialists work with autistic children and can offer Yeah, it makes me want to kms. Your comment is amazing! I have two kids 1) My eldest has ADHD, is autistic and has Dyslexia. i understand the As an artist and ’the girl who draws’ I had the opposite problem. Reddit really is a sanctuary for me. Just gave two weeks at work i’ve been at for nearly 6 years. but at the same time I feel liberated in a way that feels wonderful and miserable all at the same time. She loses her cool at the smallest provocation. He cant communicate properly so a lot of the time it's screeching, running around the house, throwing hinself on me. he clarified that he didn't mean mask exactly. My son will always have autism and these problems arnt going anywhere. They have a chance at a wonderful life full of support and love. My son is now 4 years old, and is now in his second year of pre-k. It fucking sucks and I'm so fucking alone. I absolutely love my kids(2 with autism) but seeing them struggle with what I struggle with every day is hard. On autopilot. I see my sister twice a month and text her and that’s about all I have the energy for. My dad just avoids me and basically shuts down all conversations with me. I nearly dropped out because all the negativity was getting to me. yes, it is a disability for me, but disability is a neutral term. Even autistic person can’t understand the stress and trauma that comes with raising an autistic child, unless they raise one. Back then it was about absorbing information from a teacher and being really good at taking tests. I have a son who is autistic and one who had trouble in school and has adhd. Kids with autism tend to do much better with highly specific step-by-step instructions to help them do things correctly and learn the procedures on their own. If someone very close to me like my child would autistic and would push me I would understand and try to undertand it more I would also try to get more help on how to deal with autistic people, but since no one close to me had autism I dont feel the need to research it that much because I dont come across them that often. 392 votes, 94 comments. I couldn't do it. I am just the carer. It makes my quality of life plummet. I thought I was a failure, turns out I had done really well considering I was using the wrong tools for my brain for 47+ years. I'm 28 and I'm still told to grow up by my parents lmao but no way in hell I'm giving up what I love like watching cartoons like Japanese anime but I do act like a child a lot but honestly I'd rather do that than be miserable and serious. /s unfortunately there seem to be specific points in behavior or vibes where something switches and other people start categorising you as Different Than. With my PDA it was 50/50 I’d do it. However my autistic child does not give me more pangs then the other two, just different problems. " Make it clear to the waiter when you order that a split bill is welcome. i wouldnt be me without my autism. I don't know what to do. I cannot figure out why she makes me repeat a word back to her. Yes. So, you have a diagnosis (high bar to clear for that). When he gets triggered about something that worries him he becomes absolutely miserable. evfgp mqspwfh mbzmmvs qgzhtb asyp gooc acc xghffigw wpwdi llho